Think before you speak – what NOT to say to a pregnant woman

I love The Other Mama‘s posts and today she provides a perfect example of why you should speak before you speak – especially to pregnant women.

In her most recent post, “I love my church, BUT…“, she talks about the routine questions everyone always asks a pregnant woman and how annoying it is. I love her reaction to the dozens of these questions she got at church – “And they all expect you to be happy, gracious and kind as if walking the pregnancy red carpet- stopping and giving a profile shot to each one.

I could not have put it better myself and remember exactly how she feels. I am short (or under-tall as my dad says), just a hair over 5 feet. I have no torso, thus no where for the baby to go but out. And out he did go and go and go. This made the questions worse and more frequent. To add fuel to the fire, I went a week past my due date. When all was said and done, he weighed a whopping 9 lbs 1 oz and was 21.5 inches long – a big boy!

Based on my experience, hear are some things NOT to say to a pregnant woman:
– are you sure you’re not having twins?
– you’re only XX weeks/months along?
– w0w, are you pregnant!
– you haven’t had that baby yet?
– are you feeling OK?
– you look uncomfortable

And my personal favorite, “I’m surprised you’re not complaining”. Yes, I know I’m big, but what am I supposed to complain about? God has blessed me with a baby and I’m on my way to being a mother. What greater joy is there? Sure, my feet may be swelling, I’m tired, I’m hungry and I have to go to the bathroom but it’s all apart of the process and is a reminder of what I’m doing – molding a human being. Truth be told – all I really want is to complain about all the questions.

Like The Other Mama, I too started dreading going out in public. It was hard to remember that everyone wasn’t trying to make me mad or feel self-conscious (don’t you just love those hormones?). My reward for sticking it out? My beautiful baby boy of course!

But please, next time you see a pregnant woman, just smile and tell her congrats. IF you feel like you have to ask her a question, stick to something safe like “when are you due”, “boy or girl” or “how’s the nursery coming”.

Thanks The Other Mama for a great post and the opportunity to reminisce on my own pregnancy.

Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Drew on March 15, 2010 at 10:28 pm

    You are NOT over 5 feet!!

    Just kidding – love ya! 🙂


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